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#1393; In which the Floor is open

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One second later, the floor LITERALLY opens. The audience trapdoor is in Herr Doktor's rider.

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29 days ago
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33 days ago
a million times this.
New York

03/30/18 PHD comic: 'Inbox Anxiety'

Piled Higher & Deeper by Jorge Cham
Click on the title below to read the comic
title: "Inbox Anxiety" - originally published 3/30/2018

For the latest news in PHD Comics, CLICK HERE!

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53 days ago
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Scritches not stitches

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Please enjoy these videos of animals enjoying scritches: A tiger quoll | A birb | Jeddah the bat | A blind horse (reciprocal scritches!) | RonRon the fox | A teeny kitten | Marble the chinchilla | A cow | Max Lynx | and no post is complete without A dog.
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61 days ago
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List: What Your Favorite Website Says About You

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Etsy.com: You’ve gotten into a fist fight over a throw pillow.

NPR.org: You’ve quoted David Foster Wallace while making love.

OkCupid.com: You’ve dated three hundred and twelve vegans.

AOL.com: You were born before the Eisenhower administration.

Yelp.com: Your review of a Cinnabon was more dramatic than Hamlet.

Yahoo.com: You don’t really use the internet that much.

Tumblr.com: Your parents don’t understand you. Nobody does.

Amazon.com: You’ve screamed at Alexa to order a 12-pack of cherry Chap Stick.

Goodreads.com: You’ve canceled a minor surgery to finish a Carlos Fuentes novel.

UsaToday.com: Your favorite food is the sandwich.

PBS.org: You own a cat named Winston. Winston owns six monocles.

Reddit.com: No matter what’s written here, you will gripe about it endlessly.

Buzzfeed.com: If the internet went down for a day, you’d get Ebola symptoms.

Twitter.com: If the internet went down for two hours, you’d drive off the nearest bridge — while hitting refresh.

Bing.com: You cook asparagus in your four-slot toaster oven.

Pitchfork.com: You have a yearly budget for attending noise rock festivals in Bratislava.

Bandcamp.com: You’ve headlined a noise rock festival in Bratislava.

Engadget.com: You’ve wolf-whistled at a Samsung Galaxy.

MotherJones.com: You’ve read the entire label of a Dr. Bronner’s soap bottle.

Whole30.com: You’ve smuggled butternut squash across the Libyan border.

Reason.com: You’ve purchased a firearm with Bitcoin, or vice versa.

Vox.com: You can turn any social gathering into a debate about tax policy.

T-Nation.com: You can deadlift three Vox readers.

FoxNews.com: You think RoboCop depicts a utopian society.

Forbes.com: You have achieved climax while converting an IRA into a Roth-IRA.

Salon.com: You once lectured a futon about global warming.

WallStreetJournal.com: You think having a favorite dinosaur is a waste of time.

InfoWars.com: Your home water filtration system is safe against radioactive fallout.

TheIntercept.com: You unwind by reading 10,000-word essays about drone bombings.

WikiLeaks.org: You invented a cryptocurrency.

Cracked.com: You’re funemployed.

MySpace.com: You died in 2005, at age twenty.

FocusOnTheFamily.com: Your teenage daughter is a sexually-active Juggalo.

ChurchOfSatan.com: You listen to Slayer’s Reign In Blood when you do Pilates.

ThoughtCatalog.com: You’ve been moved to tears by your own slam poetry.

Slashdot.org: You know that GNU’s not Unix.

Github.com: Your favorite tree is the Binary Search Tree.

FourHourWorkWeek.com: Your virtual assistant is reading this article for you.

Medium.com: You keep a running list of think piece ideas in Evernote.

AngelList.com: You own Evernote.

NerdWallet.com: You could survive for two years on credit card points.

PW.org: You’ve incited a riot over a shortage of Moleskine notebooks.

McSweeneys.net: You enjoy it when the last item in a list is a pattern break, or meta, in some fashion

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63 days ago
Oh god I actually have smuggled a gourd across the Libyan border.
Washington, DC
62 days ago
Ms Draper, this is the Libyan police. We'd like to discuss a customs declaration issue with you...
63 days ago
63 days ago
63 days ago
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3 public comments
43 days ago
WIRED (then): You wrote part of the internet. WIRED (now): You have an internet connection.
San Rafael, CA
43 days ago
Facebook: You haven’t mastered email.
52 days ago
Where's WIRED? Google? Facebook? Oh well.
60 days ago
The Internet is a pretty diverse place.
Texas, USA

o ai aaa oa ueui


As ktschwarz pointed out in the comments on yesterday's post "Easy going crazy", Google Translate is disposed to recognize text consisting only of vowels and spaces as Hawaiian, and to hallucinate a coherent if sometimes chilling translation into English.

In order to exercise this option more fully, I wrote and tested a simple R script to generate random messages of this type:

 N = 150
 Letters = c("a","e","i","o","u"," ")

So for example:

Or again:

One more time:

OK, I can't resist:

This is addicting, but I can stop any time I want to:


iua eo eio oea iiaeaaou eeue uoauoi o oaaoaooioeouaiu oeuaiui aaiao oii eao aaaa u aaiuoiaiueeooaaoo euuue oeoaaeoeaoaoeoeouaio i o auoi ueeouei iaei

you are not sure that you have to keep your eyebrows and you will be able to make sure that you have the right to make a difference

Some useful advice:

aiauee uiiu ouio ea ao eueaiueoieui i eaoeoi e uoioooaaeoeiua iuo ui ioeuui aaio oiaeauau eii eoio iiioee oui oueoaueuaaiuu uee e oiiae ia uu eao

let's see you while you are here to go to your friends and keep them in touch with you here and then you will be able to keep your eye on it.

One step too far?:

aoeeaao aai ooo oooaoooaueaueeeuaeee oieiaa iiuuoi oaeaae u o ou aoeaaaaoo uueuiaeoooauaia auouuoi o o uu a eu eiaaoouaaoeeeiuuo a iaiue ioaiia u

noisy noo noo nooo nooo nooo nooo nooo nooo nooo nooo nooo nooo nooo nooo nooo nooo nooo nooo nooo nooo nooo nooo noo

OK, I can take a hint — I'll stop there… Except that if I change the last letter of the first "word" to 'i':

aoeeaai aai ooo oooaoooaueaueeeuaeee oieiaa iiuuoi oaeaae u o ou aoeaaaaoo uueuiaeoooauaia auouuoi o o uu a eu eiaaoouaaoeeeiuuo a iaiue ioaiia u

how many times are you looking for your friends and your friends and your friends and your friends and your friends and your loved ones?

Or to 'e':

aoeeaae aai ooo oooaoooaueaueeeuaeee oieiaa iiuuoi oaeaae u o ou aoeaaaaoo uueuiaeoooauaia auouuoi o o uu a eu eiaaoouaaoeeeiuuo a iaiue ioaiia u

recreational and productive products and services of minerals and minerals of minerals and minerals in minerals and minerals

There are some interesting results with shorter inputs:

 aoeeaaa aai  summer meal
 aoeeaae aai  air conditioning
 aoeeaai aai  number of cities
 aoeeaao aai  breakfast
 aoeeaau aai  lunch
aoeeaam aai the temperature
aoeeaan aai last year
aoeeaav aai tourism


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63 days ago
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Washington, DC
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Paperclip Optimizers exploit glitches in The Matrix

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The Surprising Creativity of Digital Evolution:

The physics simulator first used a simple Euler method for numerical integration, which worked well for typical motion. However, with faster motion integration errors could accumulate, and some creatures learned to exploit that bug by quickly twitching small body parts. The result was the equivalent of obtaining "free energy," which propelled the opportunists at unrealistic speeds through the water.

Similarly, when evolving jumping abilities, the creatures found a bug in the code for collision detection and response. If the creatures hit themselves by contacting corners of two of their body parts together in a certain way, an error was triggered that popped them airborne like super-strong grasshoppers.

Tic-tac-toe Memory Bomb:

The project was a five-in-a-row Tic Tac Toe competition played on an infinitely large board. [...] Evolution discovered that making [a move very, very far away] right away lead to a lot of wins. The reason turned out to be that the other players dynamically expanded the board representation to include the location of the far-away move -- and crashed because they ran out of memory, forfeiting the match!

Creative Program Repair:

After several generations of evolution, suddenly and strangely, many perfectly fit solutions appeared, seemingly out of nowhere. Upon manual inspection, these highly fit programs still were clearly broken. It turned out that one of the individuals had deleted all of the target files when it was run! With these files missing, because of how the test function was written, it awarded perfect fitness scores to the rogue candidate and to all of its peers.

Impossibly Compact Solutions:

The circuit had evolved to work only in the specific temperature conditions in the lab, and exploited manufacturing peculiarities of the particular FPGA chip used for evolution. Furthermore, when attempting to analyze the solution, Thompson disabled all circuit elements that were not part of the main powered circuit, assuming that disconnected elements would have no effect on behavior. However, he discovered that performance degraded after such pruning! Evolution had learned to leverage some type of subtle electromagnetic coupling, something a human designer would not have considered (or perhaps even have known how to leverage).

Previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously.

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68 days ago
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67 days ago
I love this so much
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